It's been one week and four days since I last had poison (aka chemo) pumped into my body. I feel pretty good with the exception of my legs aching. I had hoped to have a normal week this week free from this incessant aching; but it would seem that particular side effect sticks around much longer. I googled this, and, unfortunately, many patients complained of this bone pain for years after their treatments were over. I am finding some people found the pain subsided gradually after the chemo ended while others found some damage from the chemo was permanent. I am praying mine is simply a result of accumulative chemo for the past 12 weeks. The bone pain (while it's everywhere, mine is primarily in my legs) wasn't too bad in the beginning, but as I've had more and more treatments, I have found the pain has increased. It has reached an almost unbearable point at times. As strange as it sounds, my shins ache so bad they literally feel as as if they are going to break when I step out of bed or stand up.
I start my second type of chemotherapy on Friday, January 24, 2014. Although I have completed 12 rounds of Taxol, I am getting very nervous about starting the AC. I've read horror stories about how hard AC is compared to Taxol and many of my breast cancer sisters have told me how difficult it is. I was nervous about starting chemo in the first place because I didn't know what to expect; but I can honestly say I'm even more nervous this time around. One would think I would be a little more comfortable with it at this point; but I'm really worried about how I will react to this particular type. I feel I was very fortunate to have handled the Taxol so well, and I fear I won't do nearly as well on the AC. I remind myself I need to have faith in God to hold me up and stop stressing so much; but it's very hard to keep the fear out of my mind. As I've mentioned before, I have to give myself Neulasta shots the day after my AC treatments. I'm told the Neulasta itself can cause bone pain because it boosts your white blood counts and bone marrow. When the bone marrow expands, it causes bone pain. So, this is great (hint of sarcasm) news since the pain is already unbearable; but I will find a way to get through it.
On another note, I was excited to head to work today as I felt good other than my legs aching. I was almost finished getting ready when I decided to head outside and start my car so it could warm up. When I walked onto my front porch, I was shocked to see so much snow. While I knew they were calling for snow, I never believe it anymore as they generally get it wrong. As my feet hit the top step, my legs went flying one direction; and my arms went the other way. I wish I had a camera on the front porch as it had to be comical. Unfortunately, I landed on my left side (my breast cancer side). Instinct led to me trying to catch myself with my arms/hands, and my left arm is still weak from my Sentinal Node Biopsy surgery in October.
Every week before I begin chemo, they always ask me if I've had any falls that week. This Friday will be the first appointment I've had to say "yes", and it frustrates me. I feel like I've failed at not having any issues that may conflict with treatment. I spent the majority of the day nursing an aching arm and sore spot on my leg. I've been warned that a fall can be a serious issue when you're getting chemo as a blood clot can easily form from a fall that would otherwise be nothing. Needless to say, I've been checking my leg and arm constantly. My arm hurts worse than my leg at this point. More than anything, my pride hurts! Since the porch was that slick and the roads were completely snow covered, I figured that was my sign and went back in the house--opting to stay home today. All I need is to wreck my car and have no way to get to treatments.
On a positive note, one of my breast cancer sisters had her mastectomy surgery today. I've been thinking of her and praying for her all day. Her surgery began at 10 am this morning; and she didn't finish until 5:30 p.m. Her husband has kept me alerted of her progress all day, and I'm happy to say her doctor reported no lymph node involvement in either side. Her surgery went well, and she is now in recovery. I'm thinking of her tonight, and I pray she is as comfortable as possible and not in too much pain. Please say a prayer for her tonight and over the next few days for comfort.
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