I Have Completed All Rounds of Taxol!
On Friday, January 10, 2013, I received my LAST round of Taxol. It was very exciting to have reached this milestone. After 12 weeks of straight chemotherapy, I can't say how great it feels to have completed this without a single delay. So many people face delays with their chemo and get behind schedule, and one of my biggest goals has been to not get behind. To power through this as quickly as possible! It feels very good to know I have met that goal so far. There isn't much you can control when it comes to chemo, so you take what you DO have control over, and, for me, that is not getting behind! My husband, Chuck, took me to my treatment. Since we ended up spending the entire day at the breast center, I believe he was reconsidering that decision at the end of the day. Upon being checked in for my appointment with my doctor, I was taken into the lab to have my IV started. Last week, I had two veins blow before they got my IV started, so I was a bit nervous. However, She went for the vein located in the bend of my arm to avoid the ones we've beat up a little in my wrist and forearm. They need a break! While I'm not a fan of having my IV in the bend of my arm (you can't bend your arm without setting off the IV pump alarms), it was worth it to avoid the annoyance of a port all week long.
I will get a two week break before I begin my next course of chemotherapy. This plus only getting treatments every other week now will give my veins a much needed break! I begin AC treatments on January 24, 2014. I get four AC treatments over an 8 week period (every other week). It's hard to believe I will be done with the chemo side of things in only 10 weeks! AC is rumored to be a much more difficult chemo to tolerate, so I am mentally preparing myself for what I have ahead of me. I had reached a point with the Taxol where I knew what to expect and on which days. As strange as it may sound, I had reached a level of comfort with that particular chemo. Now I am facing a new treatment plan, and the not knowing how it will affect me and how I am going to feel is particularly hard for me. As I have mentioned before, I am a bit of a planner and I find peace and comfort in knowing what to expect so I can plan for it as much as possible. Simply knowing all the possible side effects simply isn't enough. I learned with Taxol that doesn't mean YOU will have those side effects or problems. Everyone's body is different, and everyone reacts differently to chemo.
About four or five days ago, I began experiencing sharp pains under my left arm that radiated into my the side of my breast. My left breast is where the tumor was located. After several hours of sharp pains under my arm, I began feeling the area where the pain was to see if I could feel something. At first, I didn't feel anything. But, I continued to persistently feel every inch, and I found a rather hard lump at the edge of my armpit going into my breast. This hadn't been there before, and the size alone scared me. One would think if it was big, I would have quickly found it, but this isn't the case. It is buried under my arm and not as easy to find as one would think. I had my sentinal node biopsy under this arm in October, so I have about a two inch incision under this arm, and the surgery left a rather large void under my arm because my nodes he had to remove were all in the same area vs being scattered about. I wondered if it was scar tissue and made a note to speak to my doctor about it when I saw her before my chemo appointment yesterday.
My oncologists's physician's assistant came in first and examined me. I explained to her that I had experienced more fatigue last week than I had any other week during my treatments, and she said she was shocked it had taken me 11 treatments to get to that point as most people feel that way after only a few treatments. I fully expected my blood work to reveal lowered counts reflecting how tired I had felt last week, plus I have been fighting off sinus issues. However, my blood work came back within perfect range of what's considered normal or average. Not normal or average for a person getting chemo; but normal or average for the standard person NOT receiving treatment. She said she had never seen counts so high on the 11th treatment of Taxol; and specifically, my iron levels are 14.5 That's higher than the general population. Ironically, I had issues keeping my iron levels up when I was pregnant with my children, and they had dropped dangerously low to 6. I fully expected to have this issue again during treatment, but it would seem this is not the case so far. So, my blood work didn't show the chemo was affecting my body in the least. However, I was reporting more fatigue as well as more pain in my body and legs than I had experienced thus far. The pain I've had in my legs and/or body the past week has reached points of being excruciating at times. Simply walking up steps makes my legs feel as if they going to break under me. Bone pain is a common side effect of Taxol, so I know after this week, things will get better eventually. I feel blessed this bone pain hasn't been this bad all along as it would have made for a much longer 12 weeks!
I could tell by the look on the physician assistant's face she was concerned about the lump under my arm. She clearly found it troublesome. After the exam was completed, she went out to speak with my oncologist who came in shortly after. She too checked the knot, and I could see by the look on her face she was worried as well. She was very honest with me and told me she was concerned about the hardness of the lump and it was definitely something we needed to investigate before I bothered to go for my 12th Taxol treatment. She explained if this was a reoccurrence of my breast cancer while I was receiving Taxol, there would be no point in getting the 12th dose, and moving on to AC in another week would be our next step. If it turned out to be something not related to breast cancer, then I could get my last treatment. Suddenly, I REALLY wanted chemo. She explained she was sending me to the 2nd floor for an ultrasound of the lump, and based on the findings, they would either send me back to her office to discuss what it was or they would send me to chemo to get my last treatment. It would be obvious based on where they sent me what the findings were.
I lay on the table watching the tech do the ultrasound. I kept watching the screen trying to remember how my tumor had looked before and compare it to what I was seeing on the screen. How they make heads or tails of what they see on those scans is beyond me because I couldn't tell what was what. I stopped trying to read the screen, and I began silently praying. Praying this was not another cancerous lump. All I could think about was this lump was buried deep in my armpit. That meant it was right where my remaining lymph nodes were, and that meant the chance it had spread to my lymph nodes and through my body were higher than before. What if it had been there all along and was missed? A ton of what if's were going through my mind. It hit me about then that this was going to be what the rest of my life was going to be like. Every lump and bump that showed up was going to scare me to death and make me paranoid. Every ache and pain in my body was going to make me wonder if it had spread through my body. I was always going to worry about seeming like a paranoid idiot and questioning everything or I was going to say nothing and later wish I had said something sooner. I'm not sure there is a happy medium? After completing the ultrasound, the tech informed me she would have the radiologist read them then she would be back to tell me where I needed to go next. I sat in the room about 15 minutes waiting for her to return. I prayed, and I prayed, and I prayed. When she finally returned to the room, I held my breath. She said "You're headed to chemo for your last Taxol treatment!". I almost collapsed off the edge of the bed in relief! I asked what the lump was, and she explained it is a pocket of fluid from my biopsy. The void created by the biopsy had filled with bodily fluids and was hardening. Since it's painful and causing discomfort, she said my surgical oncologist would talk to me about draining it. While this isn't the most comfortable thing to have done, I prefer that over a cancer reoccurrence.
I headed down to the chemo infusion area about 2:30. My appointment was supposed to be at 1 p.m, so I was quite late. After getting settled in my chair, I chatted with the chemo nurses who were all coming into my room and congratulating me on reaching my milestone of getting my last Taxol treatment. I've become close to many of the girls on the floor, and many of them come sit my room and chat with me about my family and such. The girls who work on this floor have some of the biggest hearts I have ever seen. My steroid shot was administered, and I was ready to get my last Taxol after 30 minutes. I sat there staring up at the bag of saline pumping into my veins while I waited remembering the day of my first treatment and how I had felt. So scared because I didn't know what to expect, and so overwhelmed because 12 treatments plus 4 additional ones seemed so far away. And here I was finishing my 12th treatment. It was a little win against cancer. Cancer 0 and Teresa 1. After the 30 minutes was up, we were cleared for takeoff, and I was receiving my last dose of Taxol.
Surprisingly, the hour long infusion went by fast, and the bag was empty before I knew it. The photo above shows the empty bag of Taxol. A little photo documentation of my final Taxol Treatment. A little flushing of the vein, and I would be headed home soon. Before leaving, my appointments were made to begin my AC treatments. As I mentioned above, I would have my first AC treatment on January 24, 2014. I am required to receive a Neulasta shot the day after my chemo treatment. This shot boosts your white blood counts, which AC can deplete. Typically, patients come to the clinic to receive the shot, but I had previously requested to receive the shot at a clinic near my home to save me from driving two hours just for a shot. Unfortunately, because my chemo appointments are on a Friday, this would leave me needing the shot on a Saturday, and the clinic near my home isn't open on Saturdays. I then asked about getting the shots to keep at home and giving them to myself or by a family member. I had previously been told this was a possibility, but it would ultimately be up to my insurance company. If you receive the shot at a clinic, it's billed as a medical expense. If it's given to you to administer on your own, it's ran under prescription benefits, and the copay is determined by your particular plan. The shot itself is $3,700 a shot, so you can imagine how worried I was about what our insurance would agree to and what the cost would be if I had to keep them at home. I simply don't have hundreds of dollars to pay for these shots. It, ultimately, would come down to what my insurance dictated, which is very sad. Thankfully, the insurance company approved the shots to be given to me for home administration. And the cost was $20 a shot for my copay. For the second time that day, I breathed a sigh of relief. Everything was scheduled and set for my upcoming treatments. I could stop worrying now. Yeah, right. Before I knew it, we were walking out the door. It was a great feeling to know I was walking out having completed Taxol. I admit I had a smile on my face along with a great sense of accomplishment.
The past week has revealed a little more dry mouth issues than I've had thus far. I imagine this is an accumulative effect from the chemo. Also, I have noticed my lips feel very dry and burn. I constantly put chap stick on them. However, last night, I didn't feel the chap stick was helping much, so I began putting petroleum jelly on them. That did the trick. While they still feel dry, they don't burn nearly as bad. Those are the only side effects I've noticed a difference in since I last reported on side effects. It dawned on me yesterday that I am walking around with 12 bags of Taxol in my system. That's a lot of poison, and while the symptoms begin to improve at the end of the week, the chemo is still in my body. Makes me wonder if I would light up as radioactive under the right lighting.
Last night, I was awake until 5 a.m. from the steroid shot. That is the most difficult time I've had with sleep since this began. However, I tried to use the energy in a productive manner preparing jugs of water to donate to family's in West Virginia affected by the Kraton chemical spill who cannot use their water at all. Several trucks were loaded down today with case after case of water and other donated items for these victims, and it felt good to know I was helping others out who were in need. It took my mind off all of THIS that's going on in my life. My life is consumed, it seems, with breast cancer, something hurting, being tired, appointments, treatments, bills, and other issues that seem to make staying positive possible. However, I continue to remind myself that being strong doesn't mean I don't have weak moments. It simply means that in spite of the weak moments, I keep picking myself up and moving forward. And move forward I will because what's behind me has no business being in front of me.
Reach out and bless someone who is less fortunate than yourself. It's the best way to remind yourself that no matter how bad you think you may have it, someone is having it worse than you.
