My Fabulous News!

I had a doctor appointment today to have my stitches removed from the biopsy on my right breast (which came back as benign).  I went to this appointment frustrated after dumping half a bottle of water in my lap as I was driving there and just the fact that I had to drive two hours to get stitches removed.  But, my surgical oncologist wanted to do a checkup along with my stitches removal, so I chalked it up as a "must" and made the trip.

My surgical oncologist removed the stitches, which had healed nicely, then he checked Diablo the tumor, which he couldn't locate.  The tumor has become a fullness in the top of my right breast rather than a knot or recognizable tumor now.  I'm half way through my treatment, and you cannot feel the tumor at all now.  The fullness in that area is likely still the tumor, but I am so pleased it is not obvious any longer as I feel I am well over half way to making it disappear although I'm half way through my chemo.  I call that progress!  My doctor then informed me that I'm responding so well to the chemo there is a chance he will not have to remove as much skin on the top of my breast as he originally thought.  For those not familiar with what this means, he was planning to remove a section of skin in the 12 o'clock position on my left breast approximately 2 inches across (left to right) and an inch and a  half tall (up and down).  Removal of this skin will affect my reconstruction and the end result of how cosmetically pleasing the end results are; but removal of this skin is necessary as the tumor was very close to my skin and pushing out against my skin.  Since the tumor has responded so positively to the chemo, he may not have to remove as much skin.

He then asked me to meet with my plastic surgeon today although I wasn't originally scheduled to do this.  My plastic surgeon informed me my reconstruction plan is now different than I was first told.  I was first told I would complete chemo, have a mastectomy, get radiation, then eventually get reconstruction.  I had prepared myself to go most of the summer with a butchered up chest and no boobs.  I had no idea when I would get reconstructive surgery so I had no goal (I felt) to look forward to.  Today, he informed me I will complete chemo in March 2014, my mastectomy will occur the first part of April 2014, and during the mastectomy expanders will be placed.  The expanders will be about half the size of my replacement implants to preserve the "space" while I heal from the surgery.  After approximately two weeks, I will undergo a second surgery where the expanders will be replaced with the actual implants.  Radiation will be in June 2014.  It has been up in the air when radiation would occur, and they were first thinking I would need it prior to reconstruction, which doesn't provide cosmetically pleasing results and can cause infection issues, so I was REALLY hoping I wouldn't have to have radiation before reconstruction.

To some, this news may not seem like a big deal; but to me, this is fabulous news!  I have been stressing a lot lately about how I'm going to look after this is all over.  That may seem vain, but eventually, you have to stop worrying about cancer itself, and you become more concerned with simply living life again.  There WILL come a time when I'm no longer getting chemo treatments and worrying about cancerous tumors in my breast, and I would really like to feel as normal as possible.  To be able to look in the mirror and not hate what I see.  Today's news made me feel this IS possible.  I feel as if today truly was an answer to my prayers.  I truly feel God knows how much emotional turmoil has been inside of me worrying and thinking about this; and he made sure the issue was resolved today.  I didn't ask for reassurance or for the plan to change.  It happened by itself.  Just God's plan to reassure me to stop worrying and have faith in him.

Today, I was reminded to let my faith be bigger than my worry.

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